Saving Private Ryan

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Don't get me wrong -- the MOVIE was GREAT!

Although Caparzo never should have taken off the rosary, imho.

He would have lived longer.


It's just that whole WWII thing, y'know? People blowing each other up just because some whiny wimp with a rotten barber suffered from "smallmansyndrome" -- THAT whole useless mess really sucked big fat donkey dicks!
The movie sucked because it made me cry. It sucked because it was ABOUT things that sucked.

HEY -- do you believe in reincarnation? Because I hope -- and actually pray -- that I was NOTNOTNOT a Nazi in my last life -- if I had one. "Please, God! Just let me have been ANYTHING BUT one of those f'ers!"




For reasons that will be made clear below, I really need to know what the plural for "Penis" is.

I mean, the plural of "Octopus" is "Octopi" -- so what is the plural of "Penis"? Is it "Penises" or "Peni"?

And read on to find out why on God's green earth I need to know!

***End Aside***

So I'm all wandering around the Capitol Of Texas in Austin one day -- looking at the pictures of the cranky old dudes that used to be Governor -- scoping out the dome -- peeking in on the chamber rooms where real world decisions are made -- noticing the giant "penises/peni" in the marble floor -- ooooohing at the gold inlays -- admiring the busts and statues of former leaders -- going to my car to get my camera -- laying my hands on the iron statues that stand guard outside -- going up the impressive stairway -- snapping pictures of the giant "penises/peni" in the marble floor of the Capitol of The State of Texas -- giggling at the fact that there are giant "penises/peni" in the marble floor of the Capitol of the State of Texas -- wondering if George Bush, Jr. PUT the giant "penises/peni" in the marble floor of the Capitol of the State of Texas -- avoiding eye contact with the little old ladies that are part of a tour group and are looking at me like I am completely whacko for taking pictures of the marble floor of the Capitol of the State of Texas (I don't think they realized there were giant "penises/peni" in the design of the marble floor and that THAT was what I was photographing) -- returning to my car and driving home, laughing the whole way about the FACT that there are giant "penises/peni" in the marble floor of the Capitol of the State of Texas -- wishing I had a scanner so that I could show you all that THERE ARE GIANT F'ING "PENISES/PENI" IN THE MARBLE FLOOR OF THE CAPITOL OF THE STATE OF TEXAS! Well, the "penises/peni" aren't actually F'ING -- but, well -- you know what I mean!


Do you think you could throw a scanner in with the copies of "Multi-Facial" and "Strays" you'll be sending?
Thanks dude! You're a sport!

So what the hell does "penises/peni" in the marble floor of the Capitol of the State
of Texas have to do with Mr. Vin Diesel or the film "Saving Private Ryan"?


UNLESS you believe that "penises/peni" REALLY DO have everything to do with why wars are fought that is. You know, like the idea that Hitler had a small penis or he couldn't perform up to par, so he totally overcompensated by trying to take over the world -- that kind of idea. Then you TAKE THAT IDEA AND ADD TO IT THE IDEA that phallic symbols REALLY ARE made by man and/or woman as symbols of strength and power and then REALLY ARE put in plain site for every single one of us and all of our children to "see but not see".

Small penis --->>> phallic symbol.

Phallic symbol --->>> power.

Power --->>> war.

(How'd that stretch feel? Pretty good?)

However, if you find that you don't believe in any of this kind of thing -- penis size mattering and phallic symbols in everyday images -- well, then I guess nothing on this page has anything to do with anything.


I'm a believer.


Shall we continue?

Pitch Black

"Saving Private Ryan"
Copyright 1998 DreamWorks SKG & Paramount
Pictures Corporation & Amblin Entertainment, Inc.
All rights reserved.


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